I have been trying for thirteen years to get pregnant. I was 12 weeks when I lost my little boy....
It was so horrifying to drive myself to the hospital in extreme pain, bleeding everywhere. I could not have asked for better hospital staff. The doctor encouraged me to hold my baby. He had all his fingers and toes and was so perfect. I will never know why this happened and to be honest I am scared to try again.
Here is a poem I wrote for him:
I never got to hold you tight,
Or kiss your little face.
I never got to say your name,
Or even play a game.
I never got to hear your laugh,
Or your cry.
I tried to protect you,
I tried to keep you safe.
I told you that I loved you,
But it wasn't enough,
Why I will never know.
I now have a hole in my heart.
I will forever remember you,
And the joy you brought to me.
Even if only for a short while.
Written by Carrie Austin
- in honor of my little boy (September 2017)
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