I heard my baby's heart beat at six-weeks. It was strong at 125bpm. Two weeks later I was told bubs heart was no longer beating....
I asked if we could try again in a few days time. This time with my mum by my side and praying to God that all would be ok. The doctors confirmed that her heart and growth had not changed. With a heavy heart, I decided to take the pills. I broke down; it wasn't fair. I felt like I was dying inside and beating myself up.
Before I took the pills, I asked God for a name. I went to my local church. I was embraced by my pastor who had also lost a pregnancy. He prayed and comforted me. I felt at peace. I had a vision of God taking my baby from my womb and into heaven.
I have been very open about my pregnancy loss. I have had lots of support, but this doesn't take away the days where I still find myself not copping. I feel it's such a taboo subject. I had women in a mother group tell me it's life and to get over it. I want no one to ever have to feel that way. The silence and taboo needs to end.
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